The jman Sayeth…: My Top 5(ish) Things In July’s Previews

It’s that time of the month again…Previews!!!  What did you think I meant?  Anyway, the past few months I’ve been doing this bit as the “My Top 3 Picks from (the current month’s) Previews”.  But, for the Fanboy Factors premiere…I’m making this thing bigger!  I’m talking My Top 5(ish) Picks from July’s Previews (if I could afford it, there would’ve been a drumroll along with that announcement).  Yes!  Two more picks!  Tell me that didn’t just make your day.

But, enough of all that.  Let’s get on with the show…

5)  Star Wars Talking Plush Wampa: Underground Toys.  $24.99.  Look at this thing!  Look at it!  It’s smiling!  It’s got a removable arm and it’s smiling!  That jerk Skywalker cut off it’s arm, and it’s still smiling.  That’s optimism!  How could you not want to buy that for yourself your kids!?!?

4)  Sex Criminals #1:  Image comics.  The new book by Matt Fraction, the writer behind one of the best comics in recent times, Hawkeye.  At this point, Matt could write a book about a group of baby seals that suddenly grew thumbs and went on a clubbing rampage of their own and I’d buy that book.

Actually…I hope Matt’s not reading this.  That’s a stellar idea for a book.  I don’t want him stealing it.

3) Gotham City Garage Catwoman statue:  DC Collectibles.  Whew…would you look at that.  That’s probably the coolest hottest I’ve seen Catwoman since…well, since the last time Adam Hughes took pencil to paper.

I got two words for ya…meOW!

2)  Villains Month:  DC comics.  There are just far too many issues to mention here.  Now, let me qualify all this, I know Villains Month is more or less just a marketing ploy to sell issues.  But, I gotta tell you, marketing works on your friendly neighborhood jman.  My interest is piqued.  So…I’m biting like the fish in DC’s barrel that I am.

I will tell you this…if the stories stink, I’m not gonna get them all.  I swear!  I’m not!

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1)  The Star Wars #1:  Dark Horse Comics eight issue adaptation of George Lucas’s original rough draft screenplay.  I like Star Wars.  Which is to say, I like Star Wars when the movies were known as: Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of the Jedi.  I’ve seen the prequels and sure, there’s some good points to them.  I can’t think of any at the moment, but with a loaded gun to my head, I’m sure I could come up with…one.

All that being said, I’m not some hardcore super fan.  I don’t know what Lucas was eating the day they filmed the Wampa scene.  I know that many of his Star Wars drafts are floating about the internets, but I’ve never really had the inclination to read them.  Beings that Dark Horse is putting this huge effort out, I’m curious to see how it reads.  I’m sure you’ll be hearing all about it, too…

And, as always, what would a list be without a WTF item:

Please Teacher Hatsuho Kazami.  Wow.  I don’t know even where to begin with this one.  This is a hot mess.  Look at it!  First of all, it’s 27 inches tall.  For those out there that aren’t exactly mathemagicians, that’s over two feet tall!  Just so you can get a smidge of perspective, here’s another shot of her:

Now, look…I am many things.  Most times, I try not to be hypocritical, though.  Cause that ain’t right.  So, I’m not gonna sit here and say I’ve never bought a statue cause it “might” have been “provocative”.

yes.  i may own this statue...

yes. i may own this statue…

Or that I even pined over a statue, like the fore-mentioned Gotham City Garage Catwoman statue  or Sideshow’s Poison Ivy.  But, those didn’t have removable clothing!?!?  Yea…I didn’t mention that part, did I?  That Please Teacher Hatsuho Kazami has a removable bathing suit?!?!  I can’t post the topless pics here, cause this is a family show, but they’re out there on the internets.  Go see for yourself.  We’re almost done here.

On top of all that, she cost $539.99, which is just ridiculous for a statue.  Even if she cost, say…$200 I’d think about it it’s still way too much for something like that.  Way too much.

 

Images courtesy of:

Previews cover – www.previewsworld.com

Sex criminals 1 – mckelvie.tumblr.com

Catwoman – adamhughes.deviantart.com

the star wars #1 – www.darkhorse.com

Please Teacher Hatsuho Kazami – www.nekomagic.com

Jade – news.toyark.com

your friendly neighborhood jman - Feature Editor

About your friendly neighborhood jman - Feature Editor

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