SO WHEN DID NOLAN’S BATMAN DEFECT TO … HOLD UP! IS THAT IRON MAN 3!?

I was working on my next article having to do with how Iron Man 3 is not what the box office makes it out to be, when out of no […]

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I was working on my next article having to do with how Iron Man 3 is not what the box office makes it out to be, when out of no where, I was slapped upside the head with the realization that “IRON MAN 3 SHARES TOO MANY DAMN SIMILARITIES WITH THE DARK KNIGHT TRILOGY TO BE A COINCIDENCE”! Now before I get bent over by Marvel Loyalist and get deemed a “DC Fanboy” or a “Nolanite”, I will say that I absolutely LOVED Iron Man I, enjoyed Iron Man 2, enjoyed Batman Begins, loved The Dark Knight and did not care at all for The Dark Knight Rises! This is all observation, so reserve judgement until I present the facts below. There are a lot of issues with Iron Man 3 that I will discuss in my next article. Until then, let us all explore exactly where I am going when I say, “Imitation is the best form of flattery”! Except in this case there are TOO many similarities that makes Drew Pearce and Shane Black’s IM3 look nothing more than a copy of  Nolan’s Batman done with a Iron Man overhaul! So all you Marvel Die-Hards, attempt the practice of having an open mind, don’t kick the dog, put holes in the wall, swallow your tongue in rage or attempt bodily harm to yourself. Allow this to all unfold and then the floor is yours to debate it as you see fit. Jabs like “You F*&^ing loser”, “Your Mom is a Whore” or many other off color remarks will only make me laugh because it will confirm what I am showing to everyone is true! An intelligent response and debate is always welcome. Now, I may explain some parts and others I may use but a few choice words since the pictures will explain it all!

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1. BROKEN MAN LYING DOWN – Wayne just had his world ripped from under him and he is now on the floor bleeding. Stark, um, just had his world ripped from under him and he is now on the floor bleeding.

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2. BROKEN FACE OF THE HERO – Bane beats the BeJesus out of Batman and his broken Cowl is artistically shown, representing The Dark Knight’s defeat. Pepper Potts is holding Iron Man‘s Helmet that is …. Wait A Minute! …. broken showing his defeat AND they use it artistically! Hmmmm, something is not right here!

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ADDED BONUS: Isn’t funny how right after Batman (Bruce Wayne)  visits Gordon in the hospital he has the snot beat out of him by Bane,  is broken and then starts his road to “Super Hero Recovery”? Of course (I will spell it out for those still refusing to take the “Marvel Knee-Pads” off), right after Tony Stark (Iron Man) visits Harry in the hospital he has the his ass handed to him by The Mandarin’s goons, is broken and then starts his road to “Super Hero Recovery”?! Oh Boy! A CRAPTASTIC WTF Moment just hit me! Check the image below!

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WTF!? MOMENT: Can ANYONE explain to me how for the love of GOD that Stark, Potts and Hansen are not DEAD after having like 5+ Stinger Missiles and a couple of Chain Guns lighting this house up like The New Years Ball dropping in Times Square!!?? The missiles blast alone would create enough of a concussion to scramble their freaking brains! It all makes no sense I tell ya!!! 

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3. NOT WHAT THEY SEEM – Ras Al’ Ghul was the head chief of The League Of Shadows who used terrorism as a method to advance their ideas. Using the theme of “Things are not always what they appear to be”, another person was used to deflect who the real mastermind was. All the while, having everyone believe the stand in was the ‘Real McCoy’! The Mandarin was the head …. errr …. chief of The Ten Rings who used …. um …. terrorism as a method to advance their ideas. Using the theme of “Things are not always what they appear to be”, another person was used to deflect who the real mastermind was. All the while, having everyone believe the stand in was the ‘Real McCoy’! Okay People! Something is not right with this  picture!

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4. PISSED OFF LOVERS – Batman thinks he defeated Bane, when out of no where, Talia shanks his ass! She heads off while ordering Bane, who is recovering from an ass whooping, to proceed and finish off Batman! BOOM! Catwoman comes in like a “Bat out of Hell”, pops a Bat-Grenade from the Bat-Pod in Bane’s gut and finishes him off, in turn  saving our hero!! So Tony has no suit that seems to work correctly (even with all 50 flying around) and is on the ground defenseless as the Extremis induced fire-breathing Killian is about to finish him off. BOOM! Extremis Pepper …. that shit still doesn’t sound right …. comes out of no where to put a Estrogen induced whooping on Aldrich’s ass, in turn saving our hero! … ?? … ! So you are going to tell me that two pissed off retribution seeking “That’s My Man” nut kicking females SAVE THE HERO at the END OF THE MOVIE and it isn’t the same? Something is starting to smell like a 3 day old filled diaper that has been roasting in the sun the whole time!

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5. PISSED OFF LOVERS PART 2 – So Wayne hooks up with Miranda Tate, has sex and thinks everything is cool. HELLS NO! Turns out she is Talia Al Ghul who is the brains of  The League of Shadows. Bruce is surprised of course. She dies! Tony Stark hooks up with Dr Maya Hansen, has sex and thinks everything is cool. HELLS NO! (See where this is going ;-)!) Turns out she is the brains behind AIM’s Extremis. Tony is suprised of course. You will never guess what happens next! She dies! DANG SON! I am not even going to complain about my love life! Sheesh!

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(BONUS!) – Isn’t it funny that Talia dies from stomach trauma and as luck would have it (or wandering eyes from  possible writer’s block from Black or Pearce) that Hansen dies from stomach trauma as well! Very Original Guys! Blah!

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6. CANNON FODDER AKA CLOSEST FRIENDS –  Commissioner Gordon goes out with BALLS OF STEEL and chases the powerful bad guys, lead by Bane, with no real back up. He gets his ass handed to him, gets almost mortally wounded and is suffering in a hospital bed. Bruce Wayne goes there to see what he knows to go after the people who did this to him! SO ONCE AGAIN we have Iron Man 3 copying the same damn scene! Here we go……. Happy Hogan goes out with BALLS OF STEEL and follows the powerful Extremis soldier who is the right hand man of Aldrich Killian, with no real back up. He gets his ass handed to him, gets almost mortally wounded and is ALSO suffering in a freaking hospital bed! Of course, Tony Stark goes to there to see what he knows to go after the people who did this to him! Is anyone else starting to see why these are reasons this movie made over 1 Billion Dollars? Oh! But there is more!!!!

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7. HEALTH ISSUES IN THE THIRD INSTALLMENTS – So we have Bruce Wayne at the beginning of the THIRD movie in the Trilogy who is suffering from health issues! GUESS WHAT! We have Tony Stark suffering as well from health issues in the THIRD movie in the Trilogy! GOOD GAWD PEOPLE! Am I the only one who should demand his money back!!!!

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8. DESTROY EVERYTHING WE HAVE LEFT INCLUDING OURSELVES – Now of course those who saw TDKR knows Bruce lost everything financially and when Bane invaded his secret stash! Those who saw IM3 knows Tony lost everything when The Mandarin blew the snot out of his Malibu Mansion via Armed Helicopters. Well Batman blows up The Bat saving everyone from Bane’s Nuke, and essentially hangs up his suit! Of course Black and Pearce new this was a GREAT way to show the dedication of a character so ONCE AGAIN, they had Tony Blow Up All His Remaining Suits! (BTW, if this movie was a follow up of THE AVENGERS and was soon after New York, How In The Sam Hell Did He Have Time To Make All These? And you Marvel Fanboys better not say he had them already built! Because if that was the case, why did he not deploy them when The Chitauri and Loki attacked? This movie is really makes no sense!)

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9. I DON’T NEED NO STINKING ARMOR – What a great way to end a movie then to have our hero know that he doesn’t need all the armor and tech because they know who they are without it! Bruce Wayne knew it and WHY NOT have Tony know it as well? Hell while your freaking at it leave a cliff hanger wondering if they may come back in the future like Bruce Wayne did! Oh Crap! You did that when Tony drove away in a AUDI towing his robots saying “I am Iron Man”! LOL cute, but this has escalated to EPIC FAIL!

Before my temples explode in my skull, I must stop! When it comes to Iron Man 3, I couldn’t give a rat’s ass whether someone loved the movie, hated the movie, are luke-warm about the movie or  just a plain and simple Marvel Fanboy blinded by inability to see anything outside of their little “bubble” they live in! The ENTIRE script was translated from The Dark Knight Trilogy! There is no disputing the facts that I listed above! Oh sure, I have more, but I just cannot see moving on. Why? Well to put it plainly, someone would have to be a frigging disillusioned mentally challenged block head if they cannot see it plainly right here in front of their faces! Either way, let us ALL hope that Marvel Studios gets their heads out of their ass and gives us ORIGINAL story lines!  Thanks for reading and as always, Fanboy Factor has nothing to do with my expressions of bringing light upon stupidity! I leave you a picture of RDJ and his son walking down the street! Notice anything??!!?? HAH! BUSTED! ;-) (I like this kid!)

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Joey

P.S. – I am so sorry, but even though this may be “stretching’, this is too damn funny not to add into this article! Check it out! —————>

BRILLIANT SCIENTIST (with long hair and glasses) who was essentially a LOSER, gets PISSED OFF at the BILLIONAIRE and turns into an EVIL MASTERMIND (who cuts their hair and no longer needs glasses)! 

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BRILLIANT SCIENTIST (with long hair and glasses) who was essentially a LOSER, gets PISSED OFF at the BILLIONAIRE and turns into an EVIL MASTERMIND (who cuts their hair and no longer needs glasses)! 

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I’m just saying …………………………………………………………………. !! ;-)

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