The series finale of SMALLVILLE is on tonight, and I, for one, am glad this train wreck is over.
I’ve tried to enjoy this show and watch with an open mind, but I just couldn’t. I understand the fact that with any translation from book to screen, changes need to be made. But the problems with this show go deeper than that, and the fact that lasted 10 years is amazing to me.
So I’m going pick this show apart. And tell you what bugged me:
• Kryptonite Villain Of The Week – The first few seasons, every episode was the same. Clark fights a villain that’s been powered by kryptonite. It got old fast.
• Smallville Too Close To Metropolis – I’m no geography whiz, but last time I checked, Kansas isn’t anywhere near an ocean. The producers made it seem like Metropolis was less than 45 mins away from Smallville. Doesn’t anyone know how to read a map anymore?
• “No Flight. No Tights” – When I first heard that the producers come up with the “No Fight, No Tights” rule, I thought it was a great idea. But now I only half agree with it. I get part about not having Clark put on the suit until the final episode, but the flying? 10 years and he’s the only freaking Kryptonian who can’t. This is just annoying & ridiculous. And don’t give me that BS about Jor-El either. Just freaking fly already.
• Pseudo Costume – I get that you don’t want Clark to wear the suit, but is it necessary to put him in clothing that simulates the costume? The red cloth jacket, blue T-shirt, and jeans really looked stupid. Just God awful. What was the point? We can’t get the costume, but we get a big FU? Either do the costume or don’t.
• Emo Superman – God, the constant angst from Clark in every episode is just damn annoying. Suck it up for God’s sake. I’ve never seen a bigger whiner in my life. This little bitch is supposed to become Superman? I don’t think so.
• Poor Production Value – OK, you don’t do a show based on Superman and then cheap out on the effects. Everything just looked damn cheesy. Hell, the 1960’s Superman TV show looked better than this terd, in comparison.
• Job At The Daily Planet – During the high school years Clark never showed an interest in being a reporter. Then with no college education or prior experience, he gets a great job at a major newspaper. In what freaking reality does this happen? The point of Smallville was to see Clark grow into Superman, and part of that was studying journalism. I would love to get a great job like that, without any education or experience.
• No College – Speaking of college, it’s amazing that no one from Smallville that stayed in the cast ever ended up going to college. This is not the first time this happens in these “teen” dramas. Beverly Hills 90120 did the same thing. This is a common TV trope. It’s just keeping the cast together by any means necessary. And it doesn’t work
• Batma..Uh..Green Arrow – Green Arrow was originally created as a Batman rip-off, but Smallville’s version goes way too far with it. The producers couldn’t use Batman due to the movies, so they decide to use Green Arrow. But then they just totally screw him up. Smallville’s Green Arrow is very brooding and arrogant, just like Batman. And he barely even actually used a damn bow! What is the damn point of calling him Green Arrow if you’re not going to have his shoot arrows?
• The Blur – Lois Lane is a reporter and the Blur is the best superhero name she could come up with? Are you kidding me? And he’s leaving around “S” burned into the wall, & Lois can’t come up a name that begins with “S”. Just freaking lame. I’d hate to read her articles from someone so uncreative. This name just got old really fast.
Well there you have it, the most of things that bugged me about SMALLVILLE.
Am I nitpicking? Damn straight I am. Not as a comic fan, but a TV viewer. I get the fact that there is suspension of disbelief. And I can accept a guy who can leap tall buildings and etc, a lot better than I can from the list about. I think the reason why is, it’s still Superman. You expect the powers from him.
Well this turkey of a show ends tonight, and that’ll be the last we’ll see of it. We’ll just have to wait to the next comic book hero comes to the small screen. But thank God it’s Wonder Woman. There the network decided to spare us the pain.
Brian Isaacs
Executive Editor/Publisher
Anthony Andujar Jr.