Star Wars, the Expanded Universe and Happily Ever After.

Ahhhh…Star Wars.  It’s all starting to build up again, isn’t it?  The excitement, the buzz…can you feel it?  The little pieces popping up here and there that are only the […]

Ahhhh…Star Wars.  It’s all starting to build up again, isn’t it?  The excitement, the buzz…can you feel it?  The little pieces popping up here and there that are only the beginning of the overall mosaic that won’t be completed until your peepers glaze over when that all too familiar 20th Century Fox sound and logo Disney logo appears on the giant screen mere feet in front of you on Dec 18th 2015.

Still, though…not much has been said in regards to what the new movies will be about.  But with Disney/Lucasfilm’s recent announcement that it’ll be an original story, not based on anything from the Expanded Universe (the EU…not to be confused with the European Union), your friendly neighborhood jman’s still left wondering…what is there really left to tell.


Canon is a funny thing.  It’s only as good as the people in charge of the property want it to be. I never got into the EU.  I tried, though.  Man, I tried.  There were/are some really cool looking book covers out there.  And some really decent sounding story lines, but…none of it enough to entice me to stay in the Expanded Universe


Sure.  As a card carrying Star Wars fanboy, I read the original Zahn Trilogy (at least I think I read most of it).  And I also forced my way through Shadows of the Empire, as well as a few other miscellaneous SW books


They were all just ok, again, nothing memorable.  Certainly nothing that was worthy to be adapted onto film.

I also read some of the Star Wars comics Dark Horse published over the years.  Most notably, Dark Empire and Dark Empire II.  More recently, I picked up the first few issues of Dark Horse’s new Star Wars book that takes place between A New Hope and Empire.


After a few issues, I just lost interest.


One of the things I never “understood” and (quite frankly) drove me nuts, is when Disney put out all those “Direct to TV” movies in the mid 90’s/early 2000s.  I’m talking all the sequels to Lion King.  And Beauty and the Beast.  And the Little Mermaid.  Don’t get me wrong…I really do get “it”.  It’s about making money on an established, successful property.  An easy win.  A few extra bucks in the companies coffers.  I get it.  I get it.

yeayeayea.  i know it's Snow White.  you get the point.

yeayeayea. i know it’s Snow White. you get the point.

But those sequels were really just rehashed “meh”.  And why?  Because the story’s over.  There’s a reason why fairy tales end with “they lived happily ever after”.  Do you really need to see Cinderella pushing out a few kids, the Prince getting annoyed/bored because Cinderella’s constantly getting pissed at him for not taking out the trash, when what she’s really pissed off about is that the Prince is emotionally detached because he’s annoyed/bored?  Of course not!  Because that’s life.  Who needs to see that shit on a screen when you can see it all around you?

They lived happily ever after, because the story that needed to be told, was told.

The end.


Over the years, we’ve all seen/heard talk of the mythical Star Wars episodes 7, 8 and 9.  Some versions of the tale even have the timeline going all the way through episode 12.  It doesn’t make sense, though.  The story is over.  Lucas has stated any number of times that Star Wars is about Anakin/Vader… his rise, his fall and his redemption.  ¡Spoiler alert!  Once Vader tosses the Emperor over the rail at the end of Jedi, the story’s over.  Roll credits.  No need to stay after, either.  There isn’t going to be a teaser for the next film.  Because there isn’t going to be a next film.

so long, sucker!

so long, sucker!

The story’s over.

Like ‘em or hate ‘em (and I for one and not a fan.  At all) it does make a certain amount of sense that the prequels were made.  They were terribly written and horribly executed, but in the context of Lucas’ overall goal, it still made sense.  We got to see Anakin’s rise.  Could it have been told a little very differently (ie better)?   Hells yea.  But, either way, it still made sense.

A sequel to the original trilogy, though?  What could possibly be left to tell?  The Emperor’s dead.  Vader’s been redeemed.  And Luke’s a Jedi.  That’s all that matters.  Are there still remnants of the Empire lingering about?  Sure there is.  Does it matter?  Nope.  Does it matter that Luke’s going to establish a new Jedi order?  It’s cool and all, but…not really.  The story’s over.

Look, even if Luke has a son (or most likely a daughter) in the new movies and for whatever reason Luke turns to the darkside…who cares?  It’s already been done.  We’ve seen it already!  The only thing that’s going to happen is that everyone in the Star Wars Universe is going to collectively sigh and say…there goes that Skywalker family again.Luke Skywalker - by Phil Noto

They jammed on the forest moon of Endor at the end of Jedi for a reason.  Not because Ewoks know how to party, far from it.  When it comes to party, those oversized teddy bears are a bore.  No.  The rebels partied because the story was over.  They lived happily ever after.

Or, at least they were supposed to.


I give Disney/Lucasfilms credit for turning the “Expanded Universe” into “Legends”.  It’s a smart move on their part.  It’s the best of a win-win for everyone.  The stories don’t go away (not that they really were ever going to go away.  As long as the books exist and people have eyes to read, the books weren’t technically going anywhere), and Disney can continue to make money, hand over fist.

The best place for any kind of new Star Wars tale is really in those books, comics, games, etc.  Unless, of course, Disney decides to put any new movies under the “Legends” banner (which they most certainly won’t), any new story really belongs under that newly created banner.

Because like it or not, I submit to you, my internetsland reader, the true canonical Star Wars story is over.



PS…Don’t let any of my dissertation fool ya.  I’ll be sitting right next to you, a few clicks before midnight on December 17th, 2015, anticipating said 20th Century Fox sound and logo Disney logo…


If you’re not that pissed off at me, head on over to check out the latest episode of the Almost Internet Famous Internet show.  If you are pissed off at me, you should head on over, too!





Images courtesy of:

Star Wars logo:

Heir to the empire:

Dark Empire:

Mermaid II:

Snow White:

Endor celebration:

Older Luke by Phil Noto:

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